Counting Potatoes

Quirky Observations, Opinions and Theories on Life

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1. The practice of siesta will be included in Philippine law..

2. Ragnarok will become the new national sport..

3. Noynoy joke books will become national bestsellers second only to Erap Joke Books..

4. Proof that Noynoy has psychiatric problems will finally surface through credible sources or noynoy himself when faced with first Philippine disaster.. only GMA and ABC network will show news..

5. Philippine solution to Global Warming / Climate change will be yellow ribbon plus praying the rosary with Kris..

6. ABS-CBN + survey companies' mind control tool will be upgraded for next election in 2013. Ako ang Simula will be renamed Ako ang Simula ng Panloloko..

7. Manny Pacquiao will stop thanking the president after winning his fights.. ABS-CBN will retaliate for Noynoy by showing survey result that Filipinos expect manny to lose the next fight..

8. Noynoy will crack from pressure and Mar will become president unless Gloria becomes prime minister first..

9. Shows with Kris Aquino will be increased to 60% of ABS-CBN's shows.. magandang umaga with Kris, magandang tanghali with Kris, magandang meryenda with Kris, magandang pagtae with Kris, etc. 6 years from now, we will know everything about baby james and josh.. Including their favorite toys, food, diapers, milk, etc. Average Filipino IQ will drop 30 points..

10. Nothing whatsoever will change in next 6 years except all of the above..

God Help us All...

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1. Survey firms denied trying to influence how the people would vote come election day. hmmm...

Well, I have news for you survey people.. [drumroll...] Your survey results ARE influencing the public. Duuuuuuhhhhhhhh!! O_o

You people above all should know that the public is bombarded by survey type advertisements everyday! It's a competitive positioning strategy! Ask those who swtiched to Colgate because 9 out of 10 dentists use this brand or those who switched to Smartbro because of the survey called the Speed Test Challenge or those who started taking Charantiya because 8 out of 10 or something Filipinos have or are at risk for diabetes.

Do they mean to tell us there's someone out there paying P100,000 per question just so we'd KNOW where the presidentiable's stand??? O_o I've heard of some pretty rich guys blowing money away buying drugs and women.. but sponsoring a survey just so we'd KNOW how things are??? O_o

If you guys insist on keeping up this 'public service', at least please let us know the methodologies you used, the accuracy of having 1800 people represent a country of 50M voters and who paid for the survey.

and why is the media playing wide eyed-innocent regarding this matter when they know very well survey results DO influence public opinion?? Hello??? i can still remember the blood and the gore that flew around during the last best TV station survey.. O_o

These blatant lies, hyprocrisies and half-truths are disgusting!

2. Comelec rejects proposal of parallel manual count of votes - says this would muddy the election process and make things a lot more complicated.

Don't these guys get it?? O_o This is not about the efficiency or simplicity of the election process for god's sake! It's a manifestation of the public mistrust of you COMELEC guys plain and simple! we've seen how you guys fucked up just about everything related to the elections what with the overpriced materials, faulty equipment and messed up ballots and we'd like to have at least a semblance of partial control over things just so the new election system doesnt buy the farm during your watch!

3. Arent we the most fucked up electorates this world has ever seen? I mean, we make the international news what with our very inspiring people powers and a few years later, we welcome back the very people we ousted or their descendants with open arms! O_o

Erap... Jinggoy... Bongbong Marcos..

Is our water supply being laced with amnesia inducing substances?? Are we really that forgetful or are we just plain STUPID?? O_o next thing you'd know, Gloria is back in power and Marcos is being hailed as the best president we ever had.. Maybe that's why our country is down in the dumps.. As soon as we do something right, we promptly forget about it and make the same mistakes again!

4. Why do our election system encourage the splurging of huge amounts of money by the candidates? I mean, can you imagine someone winning the presidency without the customary printing of a gazillion posters, streamers, flyers, stickers, and shirts? Can you imagine someone winning only through the sheer brilliance of his or her platform? the strength of character? Or the greatness of his or her track record?

By forcing our candidates to raise and gamble huge amounts of money in order to win, arent we compromising their integrity even before they step into power? Arent we forcing these future public servants into a tight corner where he will have to turn a blind eye to some illegal transactions in the future and not prioritize the people in his or her decisions as president just so he or she can repay a debt of gratitude to someone who donated for his or her previous campaign? Isnt the very structure of the election system itself a foundation for future corruption?

5. Every year, this country wails about corruption, poverty, lack of opportunities and the inneficiency of our government. Every 3 years or so, each and every one of us holds the power to change where we are heading as a nation. Each and every one of us are given the right to decide our country's future hand in hand with the responsibility of choosing those leaders well.. Every 3 years or so, the possibility of change comes... and goes...

If the recent surveys are any indication, the top 18 senators in the polls are precisely those we've already had for the past six years..

The top presidentiable in the polls.. well, if his past performance will (and should) be used as a basis.. it seems that we have to tighten our belts for yet another 6 years of stagnation..

Do you have children in school for the next six years? Are you hoping for a more competitive education, better teachers and better books for them?

Do you have a sibling about to brave distant shores in order to have a future? Are you hoping those opportunities would come here instead so nobody would have to leave home?

Are you hoping for lower utility bills? Peace and order in the country? A better justice system? A better standard of living?

Well Filipinos..

We are about to make our beds..

Let's hope we do not find it wanting when we lie down on it...

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Apr 29, 2010

Against the Flow

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Noynoy says that should he lose the elections, there will be a massive people power movement to protest the results.

Lets not go ahead with the elections then as its a noynoy or nothing choice. Let's just crown him king of the Philippines and be done with it.

On a related note.. Noynoy vehemently denied having any problems up THERE in his coconut shell.. Out of all the presidentiables however, noynoy was the only one who didnt want to undergo a mental exam before the elections.. O_o that's freakin' weird..

Come to think of it, IF noynoy is the best qualified person to lead our country out of this shithole.. Shouldnt he already have distinguished himself in his past jobs? Shouldnt his supposed 'greatness' and 'heroism' already have manifested itself waaay before his mother died, his popularity rating hit 60% and before he decided to run for president??? O_o

We know Gordon lifted Ologanpo out of its post pinatubo and post american occupation doldrums and received a host of international awards because of it.. We know bayani transformed marikina from a 3rd class/rape capital city to one of the best in the Philippines.. We know binay reaped rewards and recognition for what he did for makati city.. We hear of Mar Roxas playing a part in the Cheaper Medicines Act.. even Erap has the law making the Carabao as our national animal under his belt.. What of Noynoy? O_o what of his laws?... His awards?.. his achievements?.... take out all the hoopla about him being the son of Cory and Ninoy and what do you have? O_o

We at least take the time to interview yayas and see what their qualifications are before we entrust them with our children.. Do we entrust our children's future, the quality and cost of their education, the availability of jobs for them when they graduate, the peace and security of their future homes to someone who just happens to have the right set of parents but hasnt done anything in the past to show that he WILL BE capable of handling the highest office in our country??

We at least take the time to read up and learn about the features, specifications and good points of expensive products like cellphones, laptops, cars, homes, etc.. before we buy them.. well, our country's next 6 years is definitely more important than all of the gadgets above. Do we entrust the office of the President to someone who has: 1. authored 0 read ZERO laws while he was a senator, 2. received 0 read ZERO awards for all positions held previously and more importantly 3. 0 read ZERO experience in handling or making prosperous a region, city or even a BARRANGAY.

People are saying however that HE is the man for the job because he has a name to live up to, because he is the son of ninoy and cory. It's as if the presidency of Cory was the Golden Era of our country - as if the country was corruption free during those years.. as if the country's progress skyrocketed after the EDSA revolution..

If the eradication of corruption is his primary platform, why are there many corrupt trapos in his party? If our votes are decided by the probability of someone not becoming a corrupt president as opposed to someone who has the ability of leading us as a nation into the future, then a kuhol (snail) should've ran for president.. I'll vote for it.. Probability wise, a snail has a lower probability of becoming corrupt than him.

Think back really really carefully and ask yourself if post- EDSA revolution were better days.. if that's the measuring stick that noynoy plans of living up to then we might as well slit our throats now for things are gonna get really really worse..

[ps: if you happen to be a noynoy supporter and you disagree with this post, please dont use foul language, noynoy sob stories or any other drama laden lines in reacting to this post, there are already many forums and social networks for those fluff.. instead, please enlighten us non noynoy supporters with FACTS - achievements and awards he may have that we're not aware of, qualifications, experience, etc - proof that he can handle the job. Who knows, you just might convince me to give him my vote]

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Apr 20, 2010

My Daily Symphony

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Living just accross a big highschool as well as right beside a busy road can be very stressful. In fact, people who are not accustomed to the sounds of the city often find sleeping in our house a traumatic experience or at worst, an experience that can drive them to the brink of madness.

I call these sounds my daily symphony - something I take with my morning coffee (or nowadays milo), live with at work everyday and read by at night. It's not all noise from cars, tricycles and scooters even. Like music from an orchestra, my daily symphony is composed of different melodies coming from entirely different instruments.

It starts with the flag ceremony. Having a highschool just accross our house, our day begins as if we have never left school - we wake up daily to the sound of the Philippine national anthem followed by other nationalistic songs (Pilipinas kong mahal, etc) and morning prayers. Sometimes we even listen to the rantings of their irate principal over the PA system.

If that doesnt wake me up, then the sound of metal grills sliding up as the drugstore, the computer shop or the office opens up does. This goes hand in hand with the sound of the janitor or metroaid sweeping the street.

Then the kalamay vendor goes by.. "kutsiiintaaaa... kalamaaaaayyy" in her singsong voice. There's something weird about this lady though, she has been selling kalamay since i was a kid and it seems she hasnt aged a day.. O_o (twilight zone music)

Then the scrap metal/bottle collectors go by... "plastik bakal BOwwTIIIIIII!!".. There are 3 of them that go by at different times of the day but only one way of shouting their services.. must be a part of the same company.. :D

By this time there's already a considerable amount of traffic on the road and we get treated to different kinds of engine sounds from different vehicles in different states of disrepair. One by one, the parked cars join the ruckus as they head off their destinations - one of them has a faulty carburator.

Then the highschool band starts its practice. Every year, they, and we, get to learn a different song - this year it's 'Hot Stuff'. Sometimes during peak competition season, they practice all day and I could hear their music even in my dreams.

Come afternoon, parades, motorcades or processions would go by. These can be about new businesses having their grand openings or anniversaries, alumni homecomings, foundation days of schools, funeral processions or nowadays, campaign vehicles of political aspirants blaring out their songs.

'siya si nansing nansing nansing alfelor!'

or

'jojohnan ta ka!'

or

'villafuerte! Siya mahigus na congressman!'

Come night time when you'd expect things to die down a little, the drag races of naga would commence and scooters/cars with modified mufflers would start roaring down the street. Drunks would also start walking home shouting their lungs out and spoiling for a fight.

Sometimes, an air bubble would find its way to our neighbor across the street's head while drinking and he'd start ranting about how he hates priests, how he hates our barrangay captain, etc. Sometimes he'd just fight with his brother or father or mother.

Then the garbage truck would start making its rounds with its signature song 'truck ini, apunan nin basura nindo truck ini (based on the tragedy song of the beegees) and the distinct sounds of empty large trashbins being dumped on the sidewalk.

Sometime past midnight, my mind would just shut down and isolate itself from the bedlam outside. After more than 20 years living here, one find ways to cope with the situation.

Now, what's weird for me is the absence of noise. I've slept several times over at Carolina or my sister's house in Canaman and the silence, the croaking frogs, the chirping insects just freaks me out.

It's not natural... O_o

Thank God for home sweet home.. ^_^

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I'm an avid reader of historical novels. Some girls I know are avid readers of historical romances. For them, there's something about the olden days that adds to the 'kilig' factor or the sweetness of romance stories. Knights and princesses.. Castles and horses, jousts and medieval parties.. Etc, etc...

One of my favorites past times is to burst these 'kilig' / romantic bubbles.. to be more precise, to scrape away the thin layer of romance in order to show what reality must've been beneath.. there's just something very fullfiling about watching their eyes go from googoo its soo romantic to wide eyed disbelief and disgust, he he he..

For instance...

A scene where the knight and the lady rides for days and make love in some secluded glade may seem romantic..

Consider though the fact that these people havent taken a bath for several days and the description - the smell of earth - about the man takes on a whole new meaning..

The smell of earth... O_o

more likely, the smell of undeodorized armpit perspiration dripping on your face as the unwashed knight humps you like there's no tomorrow.. Ha ha ha!

Now think about the unwashed smell of earth down there... O_o

The women in these historical romances are also almost always portrayed the same way... Dainty.. Long haired.. with gorgeous eyes.. beautiful..

What these novels dont say however is how hairy their armpits are! There were no shaving razors 700 years ago so i imagine these are quite bushy.. O_o i'll stick to the women of my century thank you..

Add to this the fact that most people back then takes a bath only once a year using perfumes to mask the smell of their unwashed bodies..

And the fact that people of the same household take turns using the SAME bathwater..

And the fact that by the age of 30, most people have no teeth left, women have sagging boobs, and most everyone has graying hair..

And the fact that people have no notion of bathroom tissues or any kind of ass wipe back then - carrying around remnants of their pooh around..

And you just might wonder what the hell is soo romantic about all of it? He he

Ruining googoo eyed girls' notions of historical romances is a thankless job - which is quite fine by me. He he he, it's not the thank you note im after.

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