Counting Potatoes

The Digital Battle Between Good and Evil

Forget about the Lord of the Rings, the Matrix and Star Wars, you don’t have to go to the cinema in order to immerse yourself in the ancient battle between good and evil - where heroes rise and innocent bystanders get hacked down to pieces. It’s happening right here, right now each and every time you log in to cyberspace and guess what, 9 out of 10, you’re one of the millions of innocent bystanders who screams his or her head off before being cut down (or at least before your computer crashes and you have to take it to the shop).

Cyberspace is a brand new frontier for most people and just like any other frontiers; there are no cuts or breaks afforded to those ignorant of the laws of these badlands. Some internet security experts claim that more than 90% of all computers worldwide are to one extent or another, infected. So using Will Smith’s newest movie out in the cinemas, Are You Legend? Or Are Your Dead? He he..

The Digital Bad Guys

Virus (Digital Psychopaths): A virus can be likened to the psychopaths you see on CSI, the Hannibal Series, The Bone Collector, etc. The goals of these people (or these programs) are usually not connected in any way to monetary reasons. In other words, they are just in it purely for the fun of doing malice. Their goal is to create mischief and to chuckle in their beds as they think about the countless people shitting in their pants as they stare in shock at what became of their computers. These programs propagate too through contact like email, flashdrives, networks, etc (thus the term virus O_o). In this sense, a computer virus is much like the HIV virus, so scrutinize whatever you’re plugging into before consuming the deed. Better yet, use the digital version of a condom, the anti-virus program. Deleted files, corrupted programs, rebooting seizures, you name it, these virus makers love it!

Worms (Sleeper Agents): Worms are like sleeper agents in such a way that they insert themselves unknowingly into your network, silently recruit others (replicate) and then send them off to their own destinations to cause harm. Depending on their mission, these worms will modify, wreak havoc or just silently consume your system resources such as your computer memory or your internet bandwidth. Some become spies, some become suicide bombers, some open the backdoors to pimps, etc.

Trojans (The Digital Pimp): The Trojan horse or simply the Trojan are named for the programs, links or files that look enticing or innocent at first but hides a nasty surprise inside (like Brad Pitt and his goons in Troy). In this sense, they are much like pimps offering delectable wares (free “anti-virus” programs, a hentai “game”, a link to an illicit photo, etc) with hidden strings attached (Herpes, Gonorrhoea, Hepa, etc) so do be careful in clicking that OK button when confronted with such offers.

Spyware (Digital Spies): Spywares have one goal in mind, to collect information about you and your sometimes naughty computer habits. It attaches itself to your browser so that they can see the places you frequent in the net, the things you buy, the images you look at, the comments you post, etc etc. They then compile this information, send then to someone who can monetize on it by selling the information to unscrupulous advertising or marketing agencies, then split the profits.

Keyloggers (Digital Safe Crackers): Keylogger programs monitor what you type on your keyboard and what you see on your screen hoping to see private information like your username and password used in finance related sites on the internet like PayPal, online banking, Ebay, credit card transaction pages, etc. The result is obvious; you wake up broke one day with your hard earned money being spent by someone else halfway across the globe.

Adware (Digital Hawkers): If you have gone shopping in Divisoria, Greenhills or any other bazaar, then you can easily visualize how these malicious programs work. These programs act much like those shady looking characters that suddenly slides over to you whispering “Boss, DVD, VCD” or offering illegal contraband by having you take a look at it in their jackets or pockets. If you always see pop-ups appearing on your screen, pictures of nude girls with dirty promises, dubious get rich quick offers, then you know you got a digital hawker on your unit.

Clickers (Digital Parasites): These programs are usually harmless to your data, private information, etc. They consume internet bandwidth though so you might experience slower download times and internet connection speeds every time you open your browser. The purpose of this program is to make money for an affiliate marketer by getting your unit to click through the links of the ads in his payperclick advertising scheme. So in essence, You are making money for Someone else.

Botnets (Digital Mobs/Global Liberation Army): Botnets are the cream of the crop when it comes to online security threats. This is because a single botnet could be made up of thousands upon thousands of zombie computers (computers infected by malware) and your pc could be one of them. Botnets are like Digital nation states in such that they wage digital wars over cyberspace with hundreds of thousands of computers involved (replace orcs and humans in the battle of Helm’s Deep with computers and you can imagine the scale). These attacks though are usually targeted at very large internet institutions like the Pentagon, the ICANN, the CIA, etc.

The Digital Good Guys

So how do you protect yourself from these online threats? Fortunately, the good guys are fast catching up with the bad guys as users all around the world are given better and better digital weapons to combat the rise of cyberspace evil.

Firewall (Digital Guards): Firewalls act as your digital guards and stand between your computer and the outside digital world. They screen each and every program or file that goes in and out of your computer looking for telltale signs that these are up to no good. Firewalls are not a hundred percent effective but they are your first line of defense - capable of filtering out most malicious elements so that the rest of the good guys will have an easier time dealing with the few that gets through. “Good Morning Ma’am, Goodmorning Sir!” pokes wooden stick through bag) he he

Anti-virus (Digital Police): Anti-virus programs serve as the digital police in your system. Some protects in real time (roving police) while some can be activated upon request (stationary police). Just like any real world police force though, you have to constantly update (retrain) your antivirus programs in order for it to be effective in finding upgraded crooks. Be careful though, some malicious programs masquerade as legitimate free anti-virus programs. Come to think of it, some crooks are also
policemen in the real world and vice versa! He he

Anti-Spyware (Digital Counter Intelligence Force): Anti Spyware programs function much like the FBI and the CIA. They catch spies who are making a living out of gathering sensitive and important information by trading intelligence with other counter intelligence sites on the net and by catching them programs red-handed. Like antivirus programs, you have to constantly update your anti-spyware for it to be effective. You can also opt to have both realtime and user activated anti-spywares to better protect your pc.

Anti-Rootkit (Digital Detectives): The anti-rootkit program flushes out spyware programs that deactivate themselves whenever they detect an operational anti-spyware. In a sense, anti-rootkits are programs capable of recognizing malicious programs for what they are by studying their codes and their modus operandi. They do not need to catch the digital criminal in the act like anti-virus or anti-spyware programs, all they need to find is the digital chain of evidence like a fingerprint or a smoking gun.

Morphing Honeypots (Digital Undercover Agents): Morphing Honeypots are the ones that go undercover to strike at the digital root of evil by studying how they operate and how they work. They change form masquerading as a file, then a program, then a network in order to confuse the bad guys. They will systematically break down the code of a particular malicious program until they find its weaknesses. They then utilize these weakness in order to convert a malicious program into being one of the good buys (much like Mr Smith in the Matrix converted other people into being his replicas just by plunging his hand into their bodies.

Honeynets (Digital Crusaders): Honeynets are the antithesis of Botnets. They are also composed of thousands upon thousands of individual computers (usually government and corporate computers) working together to combat the armies of evil in cyberspace. Together with morphing honeypots, honeymokeys and other honeynets, they can launch an effective counter attack against the evil army by tracing back its route through international internet lines.

The lines are drawn and the hordes are marching. Will you Fight or Get Assimilated?

	The Digital Battle Between Good and Evil