Counting Potatoes

Quirky Observations, Opinions and Theories on Life

Dec 11, 2010

The Perfect Last Bite

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For some people, eating is much like refueling a car.. they gas up and speed out - doing whatever it is they were doing before the meal..

And yet for some - eating is an exercise in philosophy - an affirmation of life - a journey to a higher state of being culminating in the perfect last bite..

It may be the choicest chicken skin of a piece of fried chicken [chicken ass for me], bits of buttered assorted veggies with a piece of beef with gravy on top or a representative last piece of a great burger - no matter what it is, it's the summation of a meal and losing it to someone else [like someone grabbing the choicest last piece of chicken skin] could ruin the whole experience..

On deeper reflection, the perfect last bite is much like what most people envision for their lives - some call it saving the best for last such as traveling around the world with a loved companion after retirement.. Some call it the bucket list like doing the things you've always wanted to do but never got around to doing.. and yet some call it the last hurrah - a cry of defiance against mortality and time..

The funny thing is.. most people never get around to savoring their perfect last bite.. Days merge into years and the years into decades and we live our lives always thinking that there will be enough time to fix everything right for that last bite.. before you know it, its too late.. too late to undo the things you've done.. too late to work for the things that really matters in the end.. too late to heal broken relationships.. too late for change.. life, it seems, isn't much like a meal and the best that you can do is to try your best to make each and every bite as perfect as possible.. should you be lucky enough to be given time for that perfect last bite - savor it because you're one of the chosen few..

Here's to a perfect last bite for everyone.. ^^

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Oct 9, 2010

Basic Needs

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2,000 years ago to about 20 years ago, when you were asked what basic needs were.. you go.. food.., shelter..., and clothing... and that was that.. teacher gives you that attaboy look.. you feel a warm glow inside.. and we all keep telling ourselves that yeah.. just in case the world goes to the shitters.. As long as there's food, shelter and clothing, then everything's A-ok..

then again.. someone from 3000 years ago or earlier might beg to disagree.. the bushmen living somewhere in africa might go uh-uh... nope.. we might not be able to live without food.. but we can go without shelter and without clothing pretty fine.. gramps and his gramps before him went around butt naked all the time and that was fine, they sure as hell didnt need a sissy thing such as a roof over their heads too.. for them.. Basic needs are as follows... Food, food and more food... preferably those that dont bite our balls off.. so clothing and shelter? these are just additions when man became a bit more civilized..

should you ask now.. What are the basic needs? Most would probably still automatically reply.. Food, shelter and
clothing! and yeah.. We'd all think that the answer's pretty much the same.. think deeply though.. Is it?

And since clothing and shelter, as discussed above, are more of a matter of convenience than survival anyway.. one cannot be blamed if this list is stretched a little to 5 basic needs.. or maybe 10.. or 20.. the list is pretty much busted anyway.. and the fool who made it didnt even think of water, he he..

Hmm... So what do we add?

1. Toilet with flush and running water: try crapping in the dirt and wiping your ass with leaves for a month and you'll know what i mean.. And if you dont want to include this in your basic needs list, well its your ass and your crap.

2. Computer and internet: It's funny.. 20 years ago the world just got along fine without computers and the internet.. Take out these two today and it would be like cutting the heart out the planet.. Personally i think i'd go crazy within a month without a computer and an internet connection.. first and foremost.. No job.. so i'd go hungry within a month.. 2 days after that i'd probably be eating our dog.. secondly.. no investments.. bye bye websites.. that pretty much fucks up my future.. lastly, no entertainment.. no online communites to mess with.. no online video clips.. no blogs to read.. no japanese.. ehem... Mangga..

3. Cigs: most people will define time as 'before armageadon' and 'after armageodon' .. For me it would probably be ' life before cig supply runs out' and 'life after cig supply runs out'.. some people will have similar quirks.. beer.. junkfood.. sushi.. And they'll probably have their own doomsday countdown.. in any case, you'll be able to distinguish them easily enough.. they'll be the walking twitching dead.. He he

4. Electric fan/aircon: God save me from a post doomsday world without electric fan or aircon.. O_o a week without it and i'd probably be reduced to a mumbling idiot with half my brains fried.. then again.. i could find a way to catch my own slaves.. Hook a car battery up to a threadmill machine, load the slaves and power the damn things using a power inverter.. He he.. Talk about people power!:D

5. Soap: imagine a world without soap.. Imagine living everyday with that slimy greasy feeling of being unwashed.. imagine being able to smell yourself before you sleep at night.. imagine your fingernails filling with body dirt everytime you scratch yourself.. now imagine being the first to raid a mall out of all its soap after doomsday.. tell me.. Aint soap a basic need? :D

6. And while we're at it, i might just as well add fastfood to the list. I've read post armageadon novels about humans subsisting on nanopills because all the animals have died.. Or remember the matrix where humans have to subsist on slimy oatmeal like goo? Aint for me! I'd rather be one of those toasted in the fireball than be a post doomsday goo eating human.. at the very least, i hope doomsday leaves the chicken alone.. cant imagine a world without fried chicken thighs and drumsticks... and wings..

....

.....

This has turned out to be a pretty crappy list.. all the above things connotes that not pretty much have changed with the post doomsday world.. And I can still think of many more i'd like to add..

I think my list of things not included on the basic needs will be much shorter.. @.@

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The Senate is at it again... 'Investigating' yet another scandal that rocked the nation recently.. the surprise here is IF this circus actually goes somewhere.. remember the ZTE scandal investigation? How bout the fertilizer scam investigation? Or the Hello Garci scandal investigation? I remember all the posturing, the righteous anger and the memorable lines... Funny... but for some reason, I cant seem to remember how it all ended.. or even if they actually did something in the end to punish those responsible.. or if they actually found the persons responsible for the scam... O_o which is weird... its like watching American Idol for weeks and the show suddenly stops before the grand final...


In my previous post, i wrote that heads should roll and that those responsible for the bloody fiasco should be weeded out.. The senate investigation however is just plain ridiculous! O_o its like watching a bad movie with several characters vying for the top spot with each senator having his/her own director and script writer.. Do they even want to solve the problem??! Or are they just capitalizing on the scandal for their own political gain??!


Because in a Nutshell.. Here's how I see the problem... We fucked up big time in front of the world particularly Hongkong.. Several people died needlessly and so others are clamoring for justice and reforms..

Anything beyond this is plain politics, mudslinging and emotions running hot..


That said..


1. What the Fuck is the Sense in Asking for our President's resignation?? O_o his ass has barely warmed up his comfy presidential seat for God's sake! And no, Im not even pro noynoy [see my election posts].. And yeah.. He does have an irritating smile.. But resolving a hostage crisis isnt his job for God's sake! Running the country is!


2. Similarly.. What's the sense in asking the presidential spokesperson to resign too??! read his title again.. Presidential... spokesperson.. He speaks for the president! i dont see anything about handling a hostage crisis in his job description??? O_o


oh look.. The house is on fire! Fire the fucking gardener for God's sake! There.. Problem solved!


3. Same goes regarding the DILG secretary.. Why oh why is the senate grilling him like he's supposed to act like fucking Rambo or Bruce Willis or something??


Why didnt you think of the TV inside bus? Why didnt you think about crowd/media control? Why werent you there talking to the hostage taker??


Well senators... That's because he's not a fucking negotiator or a tactical assault commander You Idiots! We have experts trained and being paid to do those tasks! And a senator who expects a DILG secretary to second guess the supposed experts on the ground is plain fucking stupid and doesn't deserve his or her senatorial seat. Senators should know better!


Do they even know what the job description of a DILG secretary is??? As far as the constitution goes, the DILG is in charge of training and equipping the police, supervising fire, prison, public safety and local government unit functions as well as help in the legislation of peace and security matters . These are administrative matters! [and its a pretty long list that doesnt include hostage negotiations or ground command during a hostage crisis... what a surprise].. Or do you guys expect the DILG chief to be there meddling with the experts for every fire and prison outbreak too?? O_o


Tactical command of a hostage situation isnt and shouldnt be a part of a DILG secretary's job! As it should be.. would you rather have a politician bargaining for your life or a skilled hostage negotiator? Would you rather have a politician directing ground forces or someone who actually trained for assaults? See.. Pretty senseless to be asking the DILG sec those tactical questions now right?


The question for the DILG secretary should be.. Why wasnt our police force prepared to handle this kind of situation? Why wasnt the proper equipment available? What happened to the training budget? These are the things that a DILG secretary is actually responsible for remember??!


In that case, would you rather ask that question to the DILG Secretary who has been in office for 2 months (barely) or the DILG Secretary who has just completed more than 6 years sitting in the DILG Secretary's chair and spending its budget? Ex-secretary Puno, please take the stand!


Take out the politics, take out the posturing and machismo bullshit and here are the pertinent questions that should be asked and answered...


On a Tactical Standpoint:


1. Who was in charge of negotiating with the hostage taker? Why did he lose control of the situation?


2. Who was in charge of planning and coordinating the ground assault? Why was it executed so poorly?


3. Who was in charge of the equipment used for the assault? The negotiations lasted for more than 10 hours. Any equipment in any part of the Philippines could be airlifted to Manila in less than an hour.. So where the fuck were the night vision goggles, frame explosives, bulletproof vests, gasmasks, etc???


I know we're a poor country but we're not that poor! O_o


4. Who was the one in charge of crowd and media control? Why did he allow the crowd and the media to run amok??


5. Who the fuck ordered the arrest of the hostage taker's brother - the event which destabilized the whole situation?


6. Who was the overall ground commander at the scene? Why didnt he delegate crowd and media control and equipment procurement??


On an Administrative Standpoint:


1. Why didnt we have a trained SWAT team for this kind of situation?


2. Why oh why is the Standard Operating Procedure for this kind of situation so fucked up?


3. Where did all the equipment needed to do the job right go??


4. What do we need to do to ensure this mess doesnt happen again?


5. How can we be assured that steps are being taken to remedy this situation??


Find the answers to these questions and we'll be more than halfway in solving the problem!


Which brings me back to my point.. Where did we fuck up??


First and foremost, its commendable that the ground commander has said that he takes full responsibility for the fiasco as he should.. More than anything else, the result of the hostage crisis was a tactical failure where the ground commander and the negotiator had full control of..


Considering that the president, the press secretary, the DILG secretary and the PNP chief have just taken over their posts.. Could we really blame them? Fair is fair, walk in their shoes for a mile and see if anyone could've done any differently.. If this happened 2 years from now then its an entirely different story.


Fact is, unless you're gifted with second sight, how will you know that you need to address the country's capability to respond to a hostage situation on top of the gazillion other fuck ups that the present administration has inherited?


and on hindsight.. Can we really expect those guys who stormed the bus to do any better given that they're just a product of a corrupt system where the necessary funds more often than not ends up in the pockets of corrupt politicians??


Politicians that we ourselves voted to office.. because they had the right name.. because they sounded right on television.. Because we just didnt think about our decisions hard enough..


The blame trickles down.. and shameful as it is to admit as we have all been initially blinded by emotions.. Some of it ends up on the front door of each end everyone of us..


Yes, we deserve better.. but to achieve this, WE need to BE BETTER.. better voters.. Better citizens.. Better guardians of our democracy..


Let the buck stop here.. Let us all take stock of our shortcomings as citizens of this country and ask ourselves.. Did we really deserve better on that particular situation?


More importantly...


What can we do to deserve better in the future?


... And oh yeah.. Let's nail every corrupt politician we find to the cross.. Corruption kills and they should pay the full price for their actions..


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1. Spend more than 10 hours sitting on your ass without asking for help from a well equipped, well trained team that could've done infinitely better!

2. Hostage taker opens bus door.. clear shot to at least disable the hostage taker .. sniper doing something else.. nice..

3. No media lockdown whatsoever.. Hostage taker has real time updates of what the police are doing should he use a portable tv, a tv capable phone, a radio or an internet capable phone. wait.. isnt there a TV on the bus too! really great.. hostage taker advantage = 10, police = 0..

talk about fanning the flames! the local media is just as guilty for the deaths of the hostages as the hostage taker in this case.. I hope there's a special place in hell for them..

4. an yeah.. while you're at it, have every tom, dick and harry from the media muddle up the negotiations by allowing them to interview the hostage taker by phone during the crisis!

5. No intel, police have no idea whatsoever how many hostage takers there are and what their firearms and positions are. directional sound recorders? infrared/thermal sights? nope.. too techie for these guys..

6. No Experts: a bus technician would've advised the police about the button that opens the door, the mechanism of the rear door, alternate entries or observation areas inside the cargo compartment, wiring blueprints that could've disabled the TV inside the bus, etc.

7. Shoot the tires of the bus where hostage taker and hostages are making the situation more desperate for the hostage taker without any clear advantage for the police. How do you plan to negotiate with the hostage taker when you've just shown your intentions??!!

8. Bring the hostage taker's brother to the scene to aid the negotiator then proceed to harass him in front of international media and within sight of the bus enraging the hostage taker and destabilizing the situation. So much for negotiations..

and when hostage taker demands that his brother be released or else.. ignore it.. sweating man on the ground is infinitely more important than man with gun and hostages on bus..

9. Make an assault on the bus with media reporting every move like its fucking pinoy big brother.. yeah right.. so much for the element of surprise too..

10. Assault the bus with no clear and concise battle plan beyond opening the door.. Really a winning combination.. let's open the door and shoot down the hostage taker.. greaaat...

11. Dont use tactical mirrors that could've avoided the scene where the cops crouched together liked scared children in front of the bus. A tactical mirror could've let the police see inside the bus without undue risk.

12. On top of that, No one bothers with controlled plastic explosives on this one to breach the bus.. No flashbangs or night vision either which could've given immense advantage to the police.. noopee.. they prefer it ala Chuck Norris style with axes and handguns..

13. Lose the element of surprise further and more valuable time by using an axe to breach the bus' windows and door.. saw a SWAT member with a beer belly trying to squeeze in the bus too.. really inspiring..

The door of a bus is designed to withstand 50Gs of instantaneous force or more. A hammer will do nothing to break it in one hit. There's an emergency lever under the bus that can be used to open the door. Nobody knew about it. Instead, they proceeded to hammer all sides of the fucking bus like it's a pinata.

14. After all the element of surprise is lost beyond all hope, dont think of shining a bright searchlight in front or side of bus to at least shed some light on the situation inside the bus and give police situational advantage because it blinds the hostage taker and lets the police see the situation inside.. but nope.. these guys would rather play pin the tail on the donkey..

15. Realize after 30 minutes that the door can be forced off by using a chain connected to a moving car..

16. Of course if they'd consulted a bus expert, they could've known that a bus door opens more easily when pushed inwards not pulled outwards. In this case, a battering ram could've done much better. as it happened, the rope snapped.. what a surprise..

17. Multiple simultaneous entries: Abandon the bright but frustratingly late idea when rear emergency door is forced open.. Apparently one open door is infinitely better than two for these police.. Two entries could've given the police a positional advantage in a firefight inside the bus but no.. One door is enough..

18. with the police having no situational advantage whatsoever, proceed to give more advantage to the hostage taker by turning on the vicinity lights.. riiiight.. have a marching band play while you're attacking the bus while you're at it too..

19. Think of the tear gas idea after a gazillion minutes of trying to hack down the bus doors with axes.. then proceed to storm bus without gas masks.. tear gas advantage nullified.. nice..

20. Speaking about the element of surprise, assault teams in this kind of situations have to assume that they only have a few seconds or a few minutes at most to take down the hostage taker and secure the place. Why? because the moment from which the hostage taker is made aware that an attack is ongoing to the time he is taken down could be spent shooting his hostages. Total time between initial assault to the death of the hostage taker = more than one hour... it was like watching a worms Armageddon game..


Luckily, some hostages lived through the nightmare.. not because of police competence, but because the hostage taker didnt kill them all even though he was given more than 30 minutes by the police to do so..

Moreover, the hostage taker wasnt asking for a billion dollars and an escape helicopter! He was asking to be given back his job and benefits! If the negotiator and the government at least gave some hope to the hostage taker that his grievances would be listened to, there would've been no dead hostages and all the advantage would switch over to the police and the government AFTER the hostage crisis!

Is this the best our country's police forces can do???!! Are these the people that are supposed to protect us???!! Was this the best plan that our vaunted SWAT team could come up with???!!! I've played harder more well thought out counterstrike games with kids no more than 10 years old!!! Please please please make someone accountable for this bloody fiasco!!



So when its not an ordinary non aircon bus, we're out of luck... o_O


or maybe... this is the real behind the scenes training... o_O

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Jul 21, 2010

Frozen Train

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A term used in the novel im reading which describes a train stranded in the middle of nowhere because everyone who's supposed to be running it have decided to just abandon it along with all its passengers..

The novel is a story about the corruption of man's values, principles and morals. It tells the tale of a corrupt world's slow but inevitable journey towards anarchy and self destruction - of how the men of mind went on strike against those who preach about self sacrifice and the surrender of reason..


Frozen train.. For some reason, this brings to mind the countless filipino nurses, doctors, engineers and teachers building their futures not on our country but on distant lands.. It brings to mind promising new graduates boarding planes to build prosperous another country. Lastly, it brings into mind the long line of brains stretching off into the far future waiting for their own turn to jump off a sinking ship..


It's the exodus of brains.. the exodus of meaningful change.. The exodus of hope and dreams.. leaving behind a country ruled more and more by the fickle mob..


Frozen train.. In the novel, the men of brains came back only after the last light was extinguished in New York.

It would take much more than that to bring our best people back.

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1. The practice of siesta will be included in Philippine law..

2. Ragnarok will become the new national sport..

3. Noynoy joke books will become national bestsellers second only to Erap Joke Books..

4. Proof that Noynoy has psychiatric problems will finally surface through credible sources or noynoy himself when faced with first Philippine disaster.. only GMA and ABC network will show news..

5. Philippine solution to Global Warming / Climate change will be yellow ribbon plus praying the rosary with Kris..

6. ABS-CBN + survey companies' mind control tool will be upgraded for next election in 2013. Ako ang Simula will be renamed Ako ang Simula ng Panloloko..

7. Manny Pacquiao will stop thanking the president after winning his fights.. ABS-CBN will retaliate for Noynoy by showing survey result that Filipinos expect manny to lose the next fight..

8. Noynoy will crack from pressure and Mar will become president unless Gloria becomes prime minister first..

9. Shows with Kris Aquino will be increased to 60% of ABS-CBN's shows.. magandang umaga with Kris, magandang tanghali with Kris, magandang meryenda with Kris, magandang pagtae with Kris, etc. 6 years from now, we will know everything about baby james and josh.. Including their favorite toys, food, diapers, milk, etc. Average Filipino IQ will drop 30 points..

10. Nothing whatsoever will change in next 6 years except all of the above..

God Help us All...

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1. Survey firms denied trying to influence how the people would vote come election day. hmmm...

Well, I have news for you survey people.. [drumroll...] Your survey results ARE influencing the public. Duuuuuuhhhhhhhh!! O_o

You people above all should know that the public is bombarded by survey type advertisements everyday! It's a competitive positioning strategy! Ask those who swtiched to Colgate because 9 out of 10 dentists use this brand or those who switched to Smartbro because of the survey called the Speed Test Challenge or those who started taking Charantiya because 8 out of 10 or something Filipinos have or are at risk for diabetes.

Do they mean to tell us there's someone out there paying P100,000 per question just so we'd KNOW where the presidentiable's stand??? O_o I've heard of some pretty rich guys blowing money away buying drugs and women.. but sponsoring a survey just so we'd KNOW how things are??? O_o

If you guys insist on keeping up this 'public service', at least please let us know the methodologies you used, the accuracy of having 1800 people represent a country of 50M voters and who paid for the survey.

and why is the media playing wide eyed-innocent regarding this matter when they know very well survey results DO influence public opinion?? Hello??? i can still remember the blood and the gore that flew around during the last best TV station survey.. O_o

These blatant lies, hyprocrisies and half-truths are disgusting!

2. Comelec rejects proposal of parallel manual count of votes - says this would muddy the election process and make things a lot more complicated.

Don't these guys get it?? O_o This is not about the efficiency or simplicity of the election process for god's sake! It's a manifestation of the public mistrust of you COMELEC guys plain and simple! we've seen how you guys fucked up just about everything related to the elections what with the overpriced materials, faulty equipment and messed up ballots and we'd like to have at least a semblance of partial control over things just so the new election system doesnt buy the farm during your watch!

3. Arent we the most fucked up electorates this world has ever seen? I mean, we make the international news what with our very inspiring people powers and a few years later, we welcome back the very people we ousted or their descendants with open arms! O_o

Erap... Jinggoy... Bongbong Marcos..

Is our water supply being laced with amnesia inducing substances?? Are we really that forgetful or are we just plain STUPID?? O_o next thing you'd know, Gloria is back in power and Marcos is being hailed as the best president we ever had.. Maybe that's why our country is down in the dumps.. As soon as we do something right, we promptly forget about it and make the same mistakes again!

4. Why do our election system encourage the splurging of huge amounts of money by the candidates? I mean, can you imagine someone winning the presidency without the customary printing of a gazillion posters, streamers, flyers, stickers, and shirts? Can you imagine someone winning only through the sheer brilliance of his or her platform? the strength of character? Or the greatness of his or her track record?

By forcing our candidates to raise and gamble huge amounts of money in order to win, arent we compromising their integrity even before they step into power? Arent we forcing these future public servants into a tight corner where he will have to turn a blind eye to some illegal transactions in the future and not prioritize the people in his or her decisions as president just so he or she can repay a debt of gratitude to someone who donated for his or her previous campaign? Isnt the very structure of the election system itself a foundation for future corruption?

5. Every year, this country wails about corruption, poverty, lack of opportunities and the inneficiency of our government. Every 3 years or so, each and every one of us holds the power to change where we are heading as a nation. Each and every one of us are given the right to decide our country's future hand in hand with the responsibility of choosing those leaders well.. Every 3 years or so, the possibility of change comes... and goes...

If the recent surveys are any indication, the top 18 senators in the polls are precisely those we've already had for the past six years..

The top presidentiable in the polls.. well, if his past performance will (and should) be used as a basis.. it seems that we have to tighten our belts for yet another 6 years of stagnation..

Do you have children in school for the next six years? Are you hoping for a more competitive education, better teachers and better books for them?

Do you have a sibling about to brave distant shores in order to have a future? Are you hoping those opportunities would come here instead so nobody would have to leave home?

Are you hoping for lower utility bills? Peace and order in the country? A better justice system? A better standard of living?

Well Filipinos..

We are about to make our beds..

Let's hope we do not find it wanting when we lie down on it...

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Apr 29, 2010

Against the Flow

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Noynoy says that should he lose the elections, there will be a massive people power movement to protest the results.

Lets not go ahead with the elections then as its a noynoy or nothing choice. Let's just crown him king of the Philippines and be done with it.

On a related note.. Noynoy vehemently denied having any problems up THERE in his coconut shell.. Out of all the presidentiables however, noynoy was the only one who didnt want to undergo a mental exam before the elections.. O_o that's freakin' weird..

Come to think of it, IF noynoy is the best qualified person to lead our country out of this shithole.. Shouldnt he already have distinguished himself in his past jobs? Shouldnt his supposed 'greatness' and 'heroism' already have manifested itself waaay before his mother died, his popularity rating hit 60% and before he decided to run for president??? O_o

We know Gordon lifted Ologanpo out of its post pinatubo and post american occupation doldrums and received a host of international awards because of it.. We know bayani transformed marikina from a 3rd class/rape capital city to one of the best in the Philippines.. We know binay reaped rewards and recognition for what he did for makati city.. We hear of Mar Roxas playing a part in the Cheaper Medicines Act.. even Erap has the law making the Carabao as our national animal under his belt.. What of Noynoy? O_o what of his laws?... His awards?.. his achievements?.... take out all the hoopla about him being the son of Cory and Ninoy and what do you have? O_o

We at least take the time to interview yayas and see what their qualifications are before we entrust them with our children.. Do we entrust our children's future, the quality and cost of their education, the availability of jobs for them when they graduate, the peace and security of their future homes to someone who just happens to have the right set of parents but hasnt done anything in the past to show that he WILL BE capable of handling the highest office in our country??

We at least take the time to read up and learn about the features, specifications and good points of expensive products like cellphones, laptops, cars, homes, etc.. before we buy them.. well, our country's next 6 years is definitely more important than all of the gadgets above. Do we entrust the office of the President to someone who has: 1. authored 0 read ZERO laws while he was a senator, 2. received 0 read ZERO awards for all positions held previously and more importantly 3. 0 read ZERO experience in handling or making prosperous a region, city or even a BARRANGAY.

People are saying however that HE is the man for the job because he has a name to live up to, because he is the son of ninoy and cory. It's as if the presidency of Cory was the Golden Era of our country - as if the country was corruption free during those years.. as if the country's progress skyrocketed after the EDSA revolution..

If the eradication of corruption is his primary platform, why are there many corrupt trapos in his party? If our votes are decided by the probability of someone not becoming a corrupt president as opposed to someone who has the ability of leading us as a nation into the future, then a kuhol (snail) should've ran for president.. I'll vote for it.. Probability wise, a snail has a lower probability of becoming corrupt than him.

Think back really really carefully and ask yourself if post- EDSA revolution were better days.. if that's the measuring stick that noynoy plans of living up to then we might as well slit our throats now for things are gonna get really really worse..

[ps: if you happen to be a noynoy supporter and you disagree with this post, please dont use foul language, noynoy sob stories or any other drama laden lines in reacting to this post, there are already many forums and social networks for those fluff.. instead, please enlighten us non noynoy supporters with FACTS - achievements and awards he may have that we're not aware of, qualifications, experience, etc - proof that he can handle the job. Who knows, you just might convince me to give him my vote]

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Apr 20, 2010

My Daily Symphony

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Living just accross a big highschool as well as right beside a busy road can be very stressful. In fact, people who are not accustomed to the sounds of the city often find sleeping in our house a traumatic experience or at worst, an experience that can drive them to the brink of madness.

I call these sounds my daily symphony - something I take with my morning coffee (or nowadays milo), live with at work everyday and read by at night. It's not all noise from cars, tricycles and scooters even. Like music from an orchestra, my daily symphony is composed of different melodies coming from entirely different instruments.

It starts with the flag ceremony. Having a highschool just accross our house, our day begins as if we have never left school - we wake up daily to the sound of the Philippine national anthem followed by other nationalistic songs (Pilipinas kong mahal, etc) and morning prayers. Sometimes we even listen to the rantings of their irate principal over the PA system.

If that doesnt wake me up, then the sound of metal grills sliding up as the drugstore, the computer shop or the office opens up does. This goes hand in hand with the sound of the janitor or metroaid sweeping the street.

Then the kalamay vendor goes by.. "kutsiiintaaaa... kalamaaaaayyy" in her singsong voice. There's something weird about this lady though, she has been selling kalamay since i was a kid and it seems she hasnt aged a day.. O_o (twilight zone music)

Then the scrap metal/bottle collectors go by... "plastik bakal BOwwTIIIIIII!!".. There are 3 of them that go by at different times of the day but only one way of shouting their services.. must be a part of the same company.. :D

By this time there's already a considerable amount of traffic on the road and we get treated to different kinds of engine sounds from different vehicles in different states of disrepair. One by one, the parked cars join the ruckus as they head off their destinations - one of them has a faulty carburator.

Then the highschool band starts its practice. Every year, they, and we, get to learn a different song - this year it's 'Hot Stuff'. Sometimes during peak competition season, they practice all day and I could hear their music even in my dreams.

Come afternoon, parades, motorcades or processions would go by. These can be about new businesses having their grand openings or anniversaries, alumni homecomings, foundation days of schools, funeral processions or nowadays, campaign vehicles of political aspirants blaring out their songs.

'siya si nansing nansing nansing alfelor!'

or

'jojohnan ta ka!'

or

'villafuerte! Siya mahigus na congressman!'

Come night time when you'd expect things to die down a little, the drag races of naga would commence and scooters/cars with modified mufflers would start roaring down the street. Drunks would also start walking home shouting their lungs out and spoiling for a fight.

Sometimes, an air bubble would find its way to our neighbor across the street's head while drinking and he'd start ranting about how he hates priests, how he hates our barrangay captain, etc. Sometimes he'd just fight with his brother or father or mother.

Then the garbage truck would start making its rounds with its signature song 'truck ini, apunan nin basura nindo truck ini (based on the tragedy song of the beegees) and the distinct sounds of empty large trashbins being dumped on the sidewalk.

Sometime past midnight, my mind would just shut down and isolate itself from the bedlam outside. After more than 20 years living here, one find ways to cope with the situation.

Now, what's weird for me is the absence of noise. I've slept several times over at Carolina or my sister's house in Canaman and the silence, the croaking frogs, the chirping insects just freaks me out.

It's not natural... O_o

Thank God for home sweet home.. ^_^

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I'm an avid reader of historical novels. Some girls I know are avid readers of historical romances. For them, there's something about the olden days that adds to the 'kilig' factor or the sweetness of romance stories. Knights and princesses.. Castles and horses, jousts and medieval parties.. Etc, etc...

One of my favorites past times is to burst these 'kilig' / romantic bubbles.. to be more precise, to scrape away the thin layer of romance in order to show what reality must've been beneath.. there's just something very fullfiling about watching their eyes go from googoo its soo romantic to wide eyed disbelief and disgust, he he he..

For instance...

A scene where the knight and the lady rides for days and make love in some secluded glade may seem romantic..

Consider though the fact that these people havent taken a bath for several days and the description - the smell of earth - about the man takes on a whole new meaning..

The smell of earth... O_o

more likely, the smell of undeodorized armpit perspiration dripping on your face as the unwashed knight humps you like there's no tomorrow.. Ha ha ha!

Now think about the unwashed smell of earth down there... O_o

The women in these historical romances are also almost always portrayed the same way... Dainty.. Long haired.. with gorgeous eyes.. beautiful..

What these novels dont say however is how hairy their armpits are! There were no shaving razors 700 years ago so i imagine these are quite bushy.. O_o i'll stick to the women of my century thank you..

Add to this the fact that most people back then takes a bath only once a year using perfumes to mask the smell of their unwashed bodies..

And the fact that people of the same household take turns using the SAME bathwater..

And the fact that by the age of 30, most people have no teeth left, women have sagging boobs, and most everyone has graying hair..

And the fact that people have no notion of bathroom tissues or any kind of ass wipe back then - carrying around remnants of their pooh around..

And you just might wonder what the hell is soo romantic about all of it? He he

Ruining googoo eyed girls' notions of historical romances is a thankless job - which is quite fine by me. He he he, it's not the thank you note im after.

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Apr 18, 2010

Happy Marbles IV

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Apr 17, 2010

Razzle Dazzle Circus

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It's that time of our lives once again. Time when we get to do our little bit for democracy and get our fingers stained. Who wouldn't notice when we get a hefty dose of political ads wherever we go? In fact, it's gotten so worse that I'm already singing along most of the political jingles being aired nowadays - from jingles of presidentiables to those running for city kagawad.. O_o

Just like before though - It's mostly fluff.. razzle dazzle.. designed to embed a politician's name so deeply in our brains that we cant help but mark out their special circle on the ballots come elections.. this is especially true for senatoriables where we just HAVE (although not required to) to shade out 12 choices.

On the surface, these political ads may seem irritating or just plain stupid.. scratch the surface though and you'll see the genius behind them.. those advertising/marketing people do know how to get around our defenses using the same principles they employ in making ordinary commercials.



1. Name Recall: One of the basic rules of advertising. You have build name recall for the products to actually sell. Dolphy - Dolphenal.. Asim - Simeco.. Erap - Mahirap.. Get the Drift?


2. Branding:
Failing to have a name that rhymes easily with good election words, politicians can try branding themselves according to a stand, a sob story or a demographic. Joy Ultra and Tide caters to people who are money conscious (product still works extraordinarily great when extraordinarily diluted).. Colgate to those after quality (or 99.99% germ free mouths).. Motolite for those after convenience (although why wait for the car battery to bring your pregnant wife to the hospital when you can take a taxi?:D)..

On the same line of thought.. since 80% of the population are supposedly poor, then a presidentiable could not go wrong to brand himself as pro poor - marcos did it, erap did it as well so it must work. Thus the cheesy padyak padyak ads as well as the singing poor kids asking if we have ever swam in a sea of garbage or slept on the streets. ( well no but have they ever tried finishing 12 years of basic education which is free without impregnating someone or dropping out because of sheer laziness?)

Some may go for established brands.. After all, why reinvent the wheel when the old one works just fine. Thus the yellow ribbons, the childhood stories about the parents, the old photographs, etc. One even uses a variation of his old campaign branding even though he was kicked out of office a few years after.. same as the senatoriable who claims he is against corruption when his father is labeled the biggest thief in history by the Guinness book of records. O_o

Branding aside though, do we take the time to check out the list of ingredients or nutritional value of the products that we buy because of these commercials? What percentage of the polls show votes backed by emotional reasons rather than logical ones. Sad truth is, branding effectiveness is almost all about optimizing emotional response and to swing the electorate because of emotional reasons is precisely the goal. That's why we smile when kids want to eat in jolibee, feel safe when we choose Sony and feel healthy when we eat and drink 'organic' food and drinks.



3. Song - Every brand has its unique song to make it memorable and to evoke emotional response. remember the kanlungan song in McDo's commercial a few years back? How bout the rejoice song and dance commercials? Or the makulay ang buhay pag may sinabawang gulay song and dance routine? no wonder most everyone got hooked on the song.. 'di bawal mangarap ang mahirap' even those who were not poor.. thank God the kids didnt dance.. Noynoy has a weird song though.. couldnt understand the lyrics of the song.. all i could understand was... mumble mumble rap rap... noynoy!... mumble muble rap rap... noynoy! O_o



4. Advertising Frequency: they say it takes 9 impressions to make a sale.. they also say its better to make 9 impressions to 10% of the target market than just 3 impressions to 90% of the market. So its not enough for people to see your ads, they also have to see it frequently enough for it to be retained in their minds.

That's why you see the 'di bawal manganrap ang mahirap' song mostly during wowowee and primetime teleseryes.. Target market poor: wowowee - crying and laughing poor people + teleserye - the poor man's opium = mind control. He he

5. Story: We all love a great or funny story. Remember the Wais si Lumen commercial series? How bout the 'palagi na lang ako' kid? And the recent one about safeguard where the wife always finds a way to ruin his husband's day?

Just like the songs that embed themselves in our minds, great story lines are a good way to build brand recall or in this case name recall for a politician. Thus the lines about a presidentiable's sibling dying because the had no money to buy medicines (meds for leukemia though? O_o) or how they used to live in a shack where the roof leaks. Another story goes about how a presidentiable's parents sacrificed their lives for our country (and how he would like to do the same? O_o ).

The cake however goes to the presidentiable who claims that things were going great during his short lived term in office (I joined the march in EDSA dos to impeach you Mr. Ex president and a president who can make a very lazy, home hermit me to do that sure as hell doesnt deserve a second chance).

Yes, its all razzle dazzle where billions and billions of pesos are being poured into great campaign machines to churn out TV ads, posters, stickers, shirts, bathroom tissues? O_o (would you like to wipe your ass with trapos?), balloons, etc, etc, etc, etc... all designed to turn the country's electorate into the proverbial sheep being lead to the slaughter... sing our songs now.. bleed later..

Meanwhile, worthwhile election tasks designed to help us vote wisely like debates are being ignored..

who cares?.. we got them stories and songs anyways..

So sing your hearts out and join the millions marching to our country's funeral song...

' Hindi bawal mangarap ang mahirap! '

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Having completed subjugating the Scots, the Irish, the Spanish, French, Portuguese and Moorish empires north from Inverness to Timbuktu in the far Affrican south. I have continued my relentless and bloody conquest eastwards towards the lands of Hungary, Italy and Poland, far north from Oslo to Iraklion and Rhodes in the South - I leave behind me the wake of massacred populations and broken mighty armies.

Now, I stand in the threshold of asia minor - secured constantinople against the mongols in Nicaea across the thin body of water with 5 mighty armies and with 4 more crack armies marching eastwards to secure the last stronghold of Russia as well as drive downwards to begin my invasion of the Turkish Empire.

On the Far east, having conquered Jerusalem, Baghdad and Egypt and having paid the bloody price of turning back the Timurid Hordes, my armies stand at Antioch, Adana and Mosul to complete my pincher maneuver towards obliterating the last 3 empires ( Turks, Sicilians and Mongols ) standing between me and total world domination.

All of Western Europe have long been conquered and have enjoyed several decades of peace and prosperity under my rule. I have long since converted its mighty castles to vast and prosperous cities to stimulate growth and trade to fuel my vast army. I have joined Crusades against heathen nations, have been excommunicated and had my lands be the object of Crusades. I have ground once powerful armies of different nations to dust and had millions of my soldiers pay the price.

Now that total domination is near.. I wonder.. would I be remembered as the Emperor who brought peace to the people? Or the tyrant who has placed all of the known world in chains?..

It's almost over...

and soon, i will ask my little sister to uninstall the game so I can get back to my long forgotten work... O_o

but wait..

someone has discovered that the world is round!...

Americas.. here i come! Bwa ha ha ha ha!

All Hail Mighty King Jabu!!!

(uninstall?.. not yet my little sister... not yet, he he he)

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Mar 29, 2010

Wasted Vote

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Life is unfair.. and sometimes the sheer injustice of it can make you cry..

It's two months away from elections and this year we got 2 of the 3 political people I admire the most running for the 2 highest seats in the government.. Dick Gordon and Bayani Fernando for President and Vice President respectively.. For the longest time, I've been saying that should these 2 tandem up, we Filipinos, who are so pessimistic about our country, will find it easy to believe in our leaders again.

Like those from Olongapo and Marikina, I grew up in a city where people believe in their leaders. Where stories of improving economic conditions are not just on the papers and in the news, in political rallies and radio ads during elections but tangible all around the city. Everyone here has literally seen the city transform from a sleepy little 3rd class town to a first class city with malls, airport, first class hotels and national food chains. Everyone here has literally heard the wheels of progress turn as more schools, more banks, more businesses and more opportunities came to build their roots in our place. Contrary to what the other political critics here are saying, this phenomenal growth is not normal, you just have to go outside the city limits to see towns and nearby cities still stuck in their 1980's version. As such, Naguenos are one of the few groups of people in the country that not only constantly wishes for better political leaders but has seen the effect of having one.

Our mayor - Jesse Robredo though isnt the one running for president or even vice president, it's Dick Gordon and Bayani Fernando. Two political leaders that have also transformed their cities into something the people are fiercely proud of.

Dick Gordon was the Mayor of Olongapo city when the Americans left Subic Naval base. Add this to the fact that Mt pinatubo erupted not long after and covered the city unders meters of volcanic dust and you can imagine the devastation and desperation the people of this city crawled out of. With nothing behind him but the support of his people and a vision, Dick Gordon, against all odds, was able not just to put the city and its people back to their feet but to make the city one of the richest and best cities in the country. How many political leaders do we have that can lay claim to this kind of success using only the meager resources that was available?

Bayani Fernando inherited a city that was considered the rape capital of Manila. In the years that he has been a leader of this city, he has transformed it to one of the most business friendly and peaceful cities in the country. In fact, Marikina today competes neck to neck with Makati and Cebu for the top spot. He became the MMDA chairman of Manila sometime after I began college in Diliman. Some critics may claim that Bayani hasnt done much to alleviate the traffic condition in Manila. I beg to disagree, I was there. I saw how much the traffic was improved and of all the people who handled MMDA, he was the only one I saw that had tangible projects to handle the traffic - barricades, one way streets, U-turns, overpasses, sidewalk widening, etc. The thing I admire most about him is his dogged determination to do his job no matter what the cost - even his popularity. When he saw that sidewalk vendors were one of the main causes of traffic and road accidents, he undertook a manila wide campaign to demolish them. You can be rich or poor he wouldnt care, if your business or house encroaches upon what was lawfully the easement of the city's streets, it will be demolished. While other politikos were so busy running around gaining pogi points while essentially doing nothing, he was doing his job.

Here are two political leaders that have tangible proof that they can lead their people out of the muck. Two leaders that have tangible proof that they have the vision to build and make prosperous a place. Two leaders that care more about getting their jobs done rather than getting additional pogi points from the people. Two political leaders who let their considerable achievements speak for themselves rather than resort to the same old emotional tactics to gain points.

Sadly, the Filipino people couldnt care less.. These two proven leaders are lagging way behind the polls. We couldnt care less that these leaders could get things done and have proven it countless of times already - we care more about one politician's story about being dirt poor in the past coupled with the nice jingle about how the poor will be given houses, jobs and education. We couldnt care less that politicians who had no tangible track records and proven achievements almost always make terrible presidents. We care more for excellent sob stories and dramatic shots showing how much this politician's family suffered for our country in the past - never mind the fact that he has passed 0 laws or has not received any awards / distinguished himself in any way in all his years in the government.

Maybe we deserve to be a poor country..

Maybe we deserve to rot in this Godforsaken place and watch presidents after presidents bleed our country dry. Maybe we deserve to watch our children grow up to the same shithole that we find ourselves in.. Maybe the poor deserves to remain poor and the politically jaded remain jaded..

Maybe we deserve it all.. seeing as we put as much effort in choosing our next presidents as choosing TV channels or movies to watch..

They say voting for someone who's lagging behind the polls is a waste of a perfectly good vote..

I say its voting for someone you dont really know much about or really believe in in the first place that's the wasted vote.

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