Counting Potatoes

Against the Flow

Noynoy says that should he lose the elections, there will be a massive people power movement to protest the results.

Lets not go ahead with the elections then as its a noynoy or nothing choice. Let's just crown him king of the Philippines and be done with it.

On a related note.. Noynoy vehemently denied having any problems up THERE in his coconut shell.. Out of all the presidentiables however, noynoy was the only one who didnt want to undergo a mental exam before the elections.. O_o that's freakin' weird..

Come to think of it, IF noynoy is the best qualified person to lead our country out of this shithole.. Shouldnt he already have distinguished himself in his past jobs? Shouldnt his supposed 'greatness' and 'heroism' already have manifested itself waaay before his mother died, his popularity rating hit 60% and before he decided to run for president??? O_o

We know Gordon lifted Ologanpo out of its post pinatubo and post american occupation doldrums and received a host of international awards because of it.. We know bayani transformed marikina from a 3rd class/rape capital city to one of the best in the Philippines.. We know binay reaped rewards and recognition for what he did for makati city.. We hear of Mar Roxas playing a part in the Cheaper Medicines Act.. even Erap has the law making the Carabao as our national animal under his belt.. What of Noynoy? O_o what of his laws?... His awards?.. his achievements?.... take out all the hoopla about him being the son of Cory and Ninoy and what do you have? O_o

We at least take the time to interview yayas and see what their qualifications are before we entrust them with our children.. Do we entrust our children's future, the quality and cost of their education, the availability of jobs for them when they graduate, the peace and security of their future homes to someone who just happens to have the right set of parents but hasnt done anything in the past to show that he WILL BE capable of handling the highest office in our country??

We at least take the time to read up and learn about the features, specifications and good points of expensive products like cellphones, laptops, cars, homes, etc.. before we buy them.. well, our country's next 6 years is definitely more important than all of the gadgets above. Do we entrust the office of the President to someone who has: 1. authored 0 read ZERO laws while he was a senator, 2. received 0 read ZERO awards for all positions held previously and more importantly 3. 0 read ZERO experience in handling or making prosperous a region, city or even a BARRANGAY.

People are saying however that HE is the man for the job because he has a name to live up to, because he is the son of ninoy and cory. It's as if the presidency of Cory was the Golden Era of our country - as if the country was corruption free during those years.. as if the country's progress skyrocketed after the EDSA revolution..

If the eradication of corruption is his primary platform, why are there many corrupt trapos in his party? If our votes are decided by the probability of someone not becoming a corrupt president as opposed to someone who has the ability of leading us as a nation into the future, then a kuhol (snail) should've ran for president.. I'll vote for it.. Probability wise, a snail has a lower probability of becoming corrupt than him.

Think back really really carefully and ask yourself if post- EDSA revolution were better days.. if that's the measuring stick that noynoy plans of living up to then we might as well slit our throats now for things are gonna get really really worse..

[ps: if you happen to be a noynoy supporter and you disagree with this post, please dont use foul language, noynoy sob stories or any other drama laden lines in reacting to this post, there are already many forums and social networks for those fluff.. instead, please enlighten us non noynoy supporters with FACTS - achievements and awards he may have that we're not aware of, qualifications, experience, etc - proof that he can handle the job. Who knows, you just might convince me to give him my vote]

	Against the Flow

My Daily Symphony

Living just accross a big highschool as well as right beside a busy road can be very stressful. In fact, people who are not accustomed to the sounds of the city often find sleeping in our house a traumatic experience or at worst, an experience that can drive them to the brink of madness.

I call these sounds my daily symphony - something I take with my morning coffee (or nowadays milo), live with at work everyday and read by at night. It's not all noise from cars, tricycles and scooters even. Like music from an orchestra, my daily symphony is composed of different melodies coming from entirely different instruments.

It starts with the flag ceremony. Having a highschool just accross our house, our day begins as if we have never left school - we wake up daily to the sound of the Philippine national anthem followed by other nationalistic songs (Pilipinas kong mahal, etc) and morning prayers. Sometimes we even listen to the rantings of their irate principal over the PA system.

If that doesnt wake me up, then the sound of metal grills sliding up as the drugstore, the computer shop or the office opens up does. This goes hand in hand with the sound of the janitor or metroaid sweeping the street.

Then the kalamay vendor goes by.. "kutsiiintaaaa... kalamaaaaayyy" in her singsong voice. There's something weird about this lady though, she has been selling kalamay since i was a kid and it seems she hasnt aged a day.. O_o (twilight zone music)

Then the scrap metal/bottle collectors go by... "plastik bakal BOwwTIIIIIII!!".. There are 3 of them that go by at different times of the day but only one way of shouting their services.. must be a part of the same company.. :D

By this time there's already a considerable amount of traffic on the road and we get treated to different kinds of engine sounds from different vehicles in different states of disrepair. One by one, the parked cars join the ruckus as they head off their destinations - one of them has a faulty carburator.

Then the highschool band starts its practice. Every year, they, and we, get to learn a different song - this year it's 'Hot Stuff'. Sometimes during peak competition season, they practice all day and I could hear their music even in my dreams.

Come afternoon, parades, motorcades or processions would go by. These can be about new businesses having their grand openings or anniversaries, alumni homecomings, foundation days of schools, funeral processions or nowadays, campaign vehicles of political aspirants blaring out their songs.

'siya si nansing nansing nansing alfelor!'

or

'jojohnan ta ka!'

or

'villafuerte! Siya mahigus na congressman!'

Come night time when you'd expect things to die down a little, the drag races of naga would commence and scooters/cars with modified mufflers would start roaring down the street. Drunks would also start walking home shouting their lungs out and spoiling for a fight.

Sometimes, an air bubble would find its way to our neighbor across the street's head while drinking and he'd start ranting about how he hates priests, how he hates our barrangay captain, etc. Sometimes he'd just fight with his brother or father or mother.

Then the garbage truck would start making its rounds with its signature song 'truck ini, apunan nin basura nindo truck ini (based on the tragedy song of the beegees) and the distinct sounds of empty large trashbins being dumped on the sidewalk.

Sometime past midnight, my mind would just shut down and isolate itself from the bedlam outside. After more than 20 years living here, one find ways to cope with the situation.

Now, what's weird for me is the absence of noise. I've slept several times over at Carolina or my sister's house in Canaman and the silence, the croaking frogs, the chirping insects just freaks me out.

It's not natural... O_o

Thank God for home sweet home.. ^_^

	My Daily Symphony

Reflections on Historical Romances

I'm an avid reader of historical novels. Some girls I know are avid readers of historical romances. For them, there's something about the olden days that adds to the 'kilig' factor or the sweetness of romance stories. Knights and princesses.. Castles and horses, jousts and medieval parties.. Etc, etc...

One of my favorites past times is to burst these 'kilig' / romantic bubbles.. to be more precise, to scrape away the thin layer of romance in order to show what reality must've been beneath.. there's just something very fullfiling about watching their eyes go from googoo its soo romantic to wide eyed disbelief and disgust, he he he..

For instance...

A scene where the knight and the lady rides for days and make love in some secluded glade may seem romantic..

Consider though the fact that these people havent taken a bath for several days and the description - the smell of earth - about the man takes on a whole new meaning..

The smell of earth... O_o

more likely, the smell of undeodorized armpit perspiration dripping on your face as the unwashed knight humps you like there's no tomorrow.. Ha ha ha!

Now think about the unwashed smell of earth down there... O_o

The women in these historical romances are also almost always portrayed the same way... Dainty.. Long haired.. with gorgeous eyes.. beautiful..

What these novels dont say however is how hairy their armpits are! There were no shaving razors 700 years ago so i imagine these are quite bushy.. O_o i'll stick to the women of my century thank you..

Add to this the fact that most people back then takes a bath only once a year using perfumes to mask the smell of their unwashed bodies..

And the fact that people of the same household take turns using the SAME bathwater..

And the fact that by the age of 30, most people have no teeth left, women have sagging boobs, and most everyone has graying hair..

And the fact that people have no notion of bathroom tissues or any kind of ass wipe back then - carrying around remnants of their pooh around..

And you just might wonder what the hell is soo romantic about all of it? He he

Ruining googoo eyed girls' notions of historical romances is a thankless job - which is quite fine by me. He he he, it's not the thank you note im after.

	Reflections on Historical Romances

Happy Marbles IV

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	Happy Marbles IV

Razzle Dazzle Circus

It's that time of our lives once again. Time when we get to do our little bit for democracy and get our fingers stained. Who wouldn't notice when we get a hefty dose of political ads wherever we go? In fact, it's gotten so worse that I'm already singing along most of the political jingles being aired nowadays - from jingles of presidentiables to those running for city kagawad.. O_o

Just like before though - It's mostly fluff.. razzle dazzle.. designed to embed a politician's name so deeply in our brains that we cant help but mark out their special circle on the ballots come elections.. this is especially true for senatoriables where we just HAVE (although not required to) to shade out 12 choices.

On the surface, these political ads may seem irritating or just plain stupid.. scratch the surface though and you'll see the genius behind them.. those advertising/marketing people do know how to get around our defenses using the same principles they employ in making ordinary commercials.



1. Name Recall: One of the basic rules of advertising. You have build name recall for the products to actually sell. Dolphy - Dolphenal.. Asim - Simeco.. Erap - Mahirap.. Get the Drift?


2. Branding: Failing to have a name that rhymes easily with good election words, politicians can try branding themselves according to a stand, a sob story or a demographic. Joy Ultra and Tide caters to people who are money conscious (product still works extraordinarily great when extraordinarily diluted).. Colgate to those after quality (or 99.99% germ free mouths).. Motolite for those after convenience (although why wait for the car battery to bring your pregnant wife to the hospital when you can take a taxi?:D)..

On the same line of thought.. since 80% of the population are supposedly poor, then a presidentiable could not go wrong to brand himself as pro poor - marcos did it, erap did it as well so it must work. Thus the cheesy padyak padyak ads as well as the singing poor kids asking if we have ever swam in a sea of garbage or slept on the streets. ( well no but have they ever tried finishing 12 years of basic education which is free without impregnating someone or dropping out because of sheer laziness?)

Some may go for established brands.. After all, why reinvent the wheel when the old one works just fine. Thus the yellow ribbons, the childhood stories about the parents, the old photographs, etc. One even uses a variation of his old campaign branding even though he was kicked out of office a few years after.. same as the senatoriable who claims he is against corruption when his father is labeled the biggest thief in history by the Guinness book of records. O_o

Branding aside though, do we take the time to check out the list of ingredients or nutritional value of the products that we buy because of these commercials? What percentage of the polls show votes backed by emotional reasons rather than logical ones. Sad truth is, branding effectiveness is almost all about optimizing emotional response and to swing the electorate because of emotional reasons is precisely the goal. That's why we smile when kids want to eat in jolibee, feel safe when we choose Sony and feel healthy when we eat and drink 'organic' food and drinks.



3. Song - Every brand has its unique song to make it memorable and to evoke emotional response. remember the kanlungan song in McDo's commercial a few years back? How bout the rejoice song and dance commercials? Or the makulay ang buhay pag may sinabawang gulay song and dance routine? no wonder most everyone got hooked on the song.. 'di bawal mangarap ang mahirap' even those who were not poor.. thank God the kids didnt dance.. Noynoy has a weird song though.. couldnt understand the lyrics of the song.. all i could understand was... mumble mumble rap rap... noynoy!... mumble muble rap rap... noynoy! O_o



4. Advertising Frequency: they say it takes 9 impressions to make a sale.. they also say its better to make 9 impressions to 10% of the target market than just 3 impressions to 90% of the market. So its not enough for people to see your ads, they also have to see it frequently enough for it to be retained in their minds.

That's why you see the 'di bawal manganrap ang mahirap' song mostly during wowowee and primetime teleseryes.. Target market poor: wowowee - crying and laughing poor people + teleserye - the poor man's opium = mind control. He he

5. Story: We all love a great or funny story. Remember the Wais si Lumen commercial series? How bout the 'palagi na lang ako' kid? And the recent one about safeguard where the wife always finds a way to ruin his husband's day?

Just like the songs that embed themselves in our minds, great story lines are a good way to build brand recall or in this case name recall for a politician. Thus the lines about a presidentiable's sibling dying because the had no money to buy medicines (meds for leukemia though? O_o) or how they used to live in a shack where the roof leaks. Another story goes about how a presidentiable's parents sacrificed their lives for our country (and how he would like to do the same? O_o ).

The cake however goes to the presidentiable who claims that things were going great during his short lived term in office (I joined the march in EDSA dos to impeach you Mr. Ex president and a president who can make a very lazy, home hermit me to do that sure as hell doesnt deserve a second chance).

Yes, its all razzle dazzle where billions and billions of pesos are being poured into great campaign machines to churn out TV ads, posters, stickers, shirts, bathroom tissues? O_o (would you like to wipe your ass with trapos?), balloons, etc, etc, etc, etc... all designed to turn the country's electorate into the proverbial sheep being lead to the slaughter... sing our songs now.. bleed later..

Meanwhile, worthwhile election tasks designed to help us vote wisely like debates are being ignored..

who cares?.. we got them stories and songs anyways..

So sing your hearts out and join the millions marching to our country's funeral song...

' Hindi bawal mangarap ang mahirap! '

	Razzle Dazzle Circus

Jabu Total War

Having completed subjugating the Scots, the Irish, the Spanish, French, Portuguese and Moorish empires north from Inverness to Timbuktu in the far Affrican south. I have continued my relentless and bloody conquest eastwards towards the lands of Hungary, Italy and Poland, far north from Oslo to Iraklion and Rhodes in the South - I leave behind me the wake of massacred populations and broken mighty armies.

Now, I stand in the threshold of asia minor - secured constantinople against the mongols in Nicaea across the thin body of water with 5 mighty armies and with 4 more crack armies marching eastwards to secure the last stronghold of Russia as well as drive downwards to begin my invasion of the Turkish Empire.

On the Far east, having conquered Jerusalem, Baghdad and Egypt and having paid the bloody price of turning back the Timurid Hordes, my armies stand at Antioch, Adana and Mosul to complete my pincher maneuver towards obliterating the last 3 empires ( Turks, Sicilians and Mongols ) standing between me and total world domination.

All of Western Europe have long been conquered and have enjoyed several decades of peace and prosperity under my rule. I have long since converted its mighty castles to vast and prosperous cities to stimulate growth and trade to fuel my vast army. I have joined Crusades against heathen nations, have been excommunicated and had my lands be the object of Crusades. I have ground once powerful armies of different nations to dust and had millions of my soldiers pay the price.

Now that total domination is near.. I wonder.. would I be remembered as the Emperor who brought peace to the people? Or the tyrant who has placed all of the known world in chains?..

It's almost over...

and soon, i will ask my little sister to uninstall the game so I can get back to my long forgotten work... O_o

but wait..

someone has discovered that the world is round!...

Americas.. here i come! Bwa ha ha ha ha!

All Hail Mighty King Jabu!!!

(uninstall?.. not yet my little sister... not yet, he he he)

	Jabu Total War