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As with most things in my life, becoming a 'fratman' back in college was one of the many things I didn't plan or even wish for. In fact, if someone have predicted back in highschool that I'd be one a few years from graduation, I'd probably laugh out loud and challenge him to bet on his prediction. [just to be safe, I would have never studied in Manila]
There's just something about secret handshakes, initiation burn marks, whispered passwords and better yet, the fratman 'look' [the one that's supposed to convey danger, mystery and suspense to girls] that I find very cheesy and funny - like something that came out of a low budget action movie. Moreover, I can't even imagine myself acting all mysterious, and dangerous, etc. [jinggoy? He he he]
That's why when 2 of my highschool buds [botchok and chard] joined one of the hiphop fraternities [gangstas paradise played on the background while they were getting whacked by a paddle], I found myself rolling on the floor laughing so hard at their stupidity [they never told me any frat stories after that].
Little did I know that the same faith awaited me 4 years from then...
It was my second year in college and I was very active in our activist/regional org and the newest boarder of an all bicolano boarding house. Three of them were from the same engineering frat and one of them was my yosi buddy. Predictably, I was trying to convince this yosi buddy to join my org [so that I'll have a source of cigs in our tambayan]. He in turn, could convince his two other brods to do the same.
"I'll join your org if you attend our frat's orientation", he negotiated.
Orientation in our org was very much like a sale's pitch seminar wherein all the good points of the org was presented after which, the prospects are asked to decide if they want to move to the next level. If you only came for the free food, shame on you but that's ok. You can opt not to join and there would be no hard feelings.
It was with this notion that I agreed to his condition and went to the frat tambayan alone the next day to ask for my orientation.
God, these were scary looking people, i remember thinking as I walked towards the tambayan table. All were smoking, playing cards and glaring at me [they didnt know i was there for the orientation] for walking through frat grounds. One of them got up to stretch his hands over his head [which reached the ceiling easily].
I sat down [they were glaring a bit more fiercely now as they thought I was there to eat my lunch on their table].
"Hello, I'm here for the orientation"
"oh..." a pause as their minds undergo a paradigm shift. I would later on learn that prospects rarely come alone to the tambayan asking for an orientation.
Suddenly, there were welcoming smiles all over the table [which was a bit weird as they were intensely glaring at me just a few minutes ago], handshakes and introductions. After a few minutes of small talk and chitchat, some of them then proceeded to orient me about the frat - history, advantages of joining, comparison, etc, etc and I was nodding my head like the dog figurine on a car dashboard all throughout.
"so that's it" one of them says "now, we'd like to formally invite you to join our frat". Hands were suddenly out and I got the vague feeling that shaking them would mean yes and seal my fate - which I had no intention of ever doing now that I got my orientation.
Uhhhh... I'd like to think about it first if you guys don't mind.. [a preset safe answer to wiggle off the hook]
"That's ok", one of them smoothly says "seeing as we were not able to give you a formal orientation/presentation, we'd like to invite you to one instead - a deeper discussion of the things said here.
Again, those smiles which activated the self-preservation alarms in my head..
Uhhh... I don't know... I trailed off..
"It's nothing", he hastened to assure me.
"Just a few drinks, a more indepth discussion of the things said here and that's it"...
Expectant looks...
"hooookaay..."
Followed by handshakes and more of those eerie smiles all around..
Remember all those persistent salesmen that somehow convinces you to buy things you didnt even plan on having or didnt even like? Or religious org members too nice to refuse then you somehow find yourself in gatherings trying your damn best to pretend you had the gift of tongues?
I should've known.. The smiles were those of a cat that swallowed the canary..
And with my "hoookay..", I sealed my fate..
There was no turning back after that.. And the consequences of quitting were much more horrible than that of just bearing the initiation and final rites [I've always wondered about the traumatized guys in school being roughed up, spat upon and bullied in cr's and hallways, it was then I found out that they were frat quitters]. In the world of fraternities, you stuck to your word regardless if you said it while you were stinking drunk or half concious from all the beatings.
O well, I'd rather do the spitting than be the one spat upon...
And just like that [several months of torture], I became a fratman..
Not that I ever regretted it. I remember reading something scrawled by a jaded soul on a bathroom wall in UP that says something about nobody in this world dying a virgin, Life fucks us all. It may be so, but even then I think we all still have the option of learning something even when we are on our backs while life humping us on the ground [which reminds me of the time I joined the ROTC officer's Core Platoon when I was just a freshman but that's for another story].
It was in our frat that I learned much about how to handle people and projects, how to manage disputes and embarked on my first forays in the world of business.
Of course, I also managed to learn a good deal about frat wars, handling neophytes and of course coping with the ever present mysterious, dangerous, brooding, intense, etc, look that most brods put on with their fratshirts.
Thank God there were no secret handshakes or a Gangsta's Paradise background music though, he he
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