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Trust today's teens to turn Friendster into another bitch battleground. He he.
Hell, in our time (which was more or less 6 years ago), Friendster was hailed as an innovative concept capable of connecting friends accross borders and seas. Of course, even then, people quickly realized how pitiful friendster accounts with only 15 friends (which is a more realistic figure if we think about it) looked and thus the dilution of the word 'friend' which had to adjust to include the pervert back in highschool, the bossy bitch orgmate, the call center team leader, the weird silent guy in the back row, the hottie chemlab partner and anyone else capable of boosting the friendster friend count - even bayani fernando, whom i have never met but has somehow become my 'friend'.
This in turn paved the way for Friendster to become what it is today - a social networking bitch-war platform. Now, even enemies are connected and the battles hosted through third party accounts - usually a group. Uninvolved members become unexpected and fascinated spectators tossing in their six cents now and then to fan the fires, he he.
Thinking about it, i have never seen 'gang wars' in Friendster. Guys seem to have their own online battlegrounds when it comes to settling offline differences. Counterstrike, Ragnarok, Warcraft, etc. Trust guys to prefer old fashioned ways of bashing each other online - war axes, sniper rifles, hand grenades,etc - pretty straightforward and bloody affairs.
Bitch wars - now they're entirely different affairs. If 'gang wars' are pretty straightforward graphic and bloody affairs, bitch wars are more on the lines of guerrilla warfare and requires intensive application of Sun Tzu's art of war.
Bitch wars are more like submarine battles - they are entirely cerebral wars fought on a battleground where the fog of war is constant and the two fighters nothing but sonar echoes on the screen. Sometimes the two forces clash explosively as with the case of bitch wars hosted in community accounts, but more often than not, you have to read between the lines between the lines to follow what is going on. With only an oil slick on the surface to indicate a victory, he he
Guys seldom notice these bitch wars when they log on. Even when told about it, guys oftentimes find it hard to follow the battles taking place. Afterall, you don't see tanks rolling here or bases being pounded to dust. The timescale itself is way beyond what guys are used to. Counterstrike wars lasts at most 4 hours, Friendster Bitch Wars last weeks.
With a little analogy to connect both worlds however, bitch wars can be surprisingly simple to follow and analyze. He he, once you learn the basics, Friendster will never be the same - much like what Neo experienced when he saw the Matrix for what it is.
so here goes the blue pill.. He he
...Or was it the red one?
Friendster Bitch Wars 101
Command Center
The base is of course the user accounts. After all, this is where all the tools of warfare are generated, hosted or dispatched to wreak havoc on enemy lines. Take a good long look on the user profile of interest, this usually gives you an idea of what resources are being used to wage the digital bitch war - that is unless the base is cloaked (private profile option activated)
The about me or who i want to meet sections are sometimes but not often used as defensive platforms (targeted derogatory music/photos/video/scandal using the media widgets available ). But more often than not, they are used as additional ego boosters for the commander.
Long Range Sniper
Pros: Nothing can match the Friendster Shoutout tool when it comes to long range sniping. Why? Because Friendster shoutout updates are the Most visible and far reaching weapon in the Friendster arsenal.
It appears on the mainpage update box of the user's friends/frenemies including the 3rd party account where the battle is being waged. It can be seen by interested parties even when the account/base is cloaked and it can be used for as long as the user needs it.
Cons: Friendster shoutouts do not pack much punch as a bitch war tool as it is only limited to about 300 words. As such, they need to be either concise and straight to the point or extremely witty to have much of an effect. Problem is, when forced to be such, some war participants end up sounding stupid. He he, case in point "stop talking shits coming out of your mouth" - a shoutout that basically says "my brain is mush"
Effective Friendster shoutouts are usually those that go for the digital jugular without being obvious. Those that sound witty without being bitter. See some examples from this post: Friendster Shoutouts For Exes
Battle Tanks
Pros: The bulletin board announcements are used much like battle tanks in Friendster Bitch Wars - it packs a stronger punch when delivered (longer than 300 words) and the more the user makes, the better.
Cons: The more the better because bulletins are easily swamped by other bulletins from other people in the network and a spy within your circle could easily neutralize your 'tanks' by posting useless surveys like 'things i do with my ass in my spare time' or 'my top 10 most useless opinions on life'.
Unless you have your enemy on your friend list though, you will have to rely on spies/frenemies on your network to bridge your tanks. So rule of thumb here is to always have frenemies on your list to relay the shots. He he
Heroes
Heroes in Friendster Bitch Wars are those featured friends showcased in the user account. These are the agents that one uses to show strength and support especially in public battles in 3rd party accounts - usually taking turns (like final fantasy characters) in bitch bashing the enemies.
Pros: click through the featured friends section and you will see the allies' disposition of forces each with their own shoutouts, bulletins, blogs, etc. The main advantage of Heroes is the compounded strength of sequential and coordinated bitch bashing and mutual support in comments and updates battlegrounds (who said only animals hunt in packs? He he).
Cons: Featured friends/heroes with less than 30 friends of their own are looked upon with suspicion especially if they are accounts not of real persons but of generic sounding groups like planet cutie (15 friends 0 testimonials) or Bigtoe addicts (10 friends account created 2 weeks ago) <- digital representations of our imaginary super friends when we were kids.
Power Cores/Pylons
Every base needs its power source and in the case of Friendster Bitch wars, this is the comments and testimonials section.
Pros: the comments/testimonials section is usually where the supporters are located. This is where they dispense their 'advice' or shoot their potshots at the enemy. As such, this section is essential in showing that the Friendster Bitch Fighter is not alone in her fight, is not crazed or pathetic and most importantly, not the antagonist in this drama. Friendster fighters usually read the testimonials section to recoup their strength and convince themselves of success.
Cons: a blank testimonials section or one populated with spam can become a prime factor for a Friendster Bitch War underdog to commit suicide.
Airbase
The Friendster Blog Section are oftentimes used as launching pads for Friendster Bitch War deep strikes. Here you can oftentimes get an indepth look on how it all started, the main characters of the drama, the chronological order of events and pretty much everything bad that can be said about the enemy.
Pros: since blogs are optional, an active blog on one side can be a very effective tool in swinging public opinion. Plus blogs get indexed by search engines thus expanding the scope of the war.
Cons: a blog is a two edged sword in Friendster bitch wars. Just as it can be used as a launching pad for deep strikes to the enemy, so can it be used by the enemy to gather personal information like hang ups, insecurities and other data that can be used against her. I've seen one Friendster fighter cut to ribbons all because of the personal insecurities she wrote on her blog like how her BF sometimes mistakes her for an ashtray or how she cries at night because her BF calls someone else's name in his sleep. Of course, the bad grammar didn't help. A good practice of girls here is to cloak user accounts before engaging the enemy.
Propaganda Tower
Speaking about swinging public opinion, nothing adds more credibility to a Friendster Amazon than her picture gallery. Not everyone reads the blogs after all and aren't pictures worth a thousand words?
Pros: here the user can optimize the pictures in order to showcase how popular she is (parties, debut, etc), how beautiful she is (mostly self taken shots of user making googoo eyes while puckering her lips or pics with alluring glimpses of the mysterious humps and curves of her body - just don't let them nippies or pubic hairs peek or that could be considered pornography, he he ), how rich and confident she is (pictures with the 7 wonders of the world as a background), etc, etc. One such war, the Friendster Chinese FlipFlops war, even saw the use of a pic wherein the girl mocked the facial expression of the other girl - cheeks all puffed up and eyes as big as saucers. Talk about Optimus Bitch! ehe he
Cons: a gallery full of the user taking self shots making googoo eyes while puckering her lips may give the impression that the user isn't right in the head and is using the pics to monitor how fast her nose hairs grow. User might also be mistaken for a janitor fish trying to clean the camera lens. Furthermore, an unsecured user profile practically invites the enemy to drop funny comments about her puckered-face googoo pics and other pics in the albums. Case in point: pucker face picture comments: example of human devolution, two-cunt bitch and the missing link.
Unless secured, pics can also be grabbed by other users and ran through Photoshop and the fun escalates exponentially from there. A Friendster warrior may suddenly find her pics in a group gallery with tits growing out her forehead. Anyone will have a hard time regaining footing or pride in a bitch fight after that. He he
There are lots of other Friendster Bitch War weapons I have not discussed here like 'common friends' for infiltration, 'who viewed me' for recon, etc. Unfortunately, my thumbs are starting to cramp from thumb typing, he he,
Nevertheless, what Friendster has become in the hands of women speaks much of the untapped war potential and ingenuity in women. If women had their way, they could probably track down where Osama is using only Facebook, MySpace and Friendster. Chris Rock got it right when he said that women could've ruled the world.. If only they didn't hate other women so much. He he he
Feel free to add your favorite Friendster Bitch War stories.:)
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